No matter how common it is for women to wear jeans and do better than men at times, there will always be women who tell me how to behave like a lady. “As a woman, you're supposed to...”
Wait, who told YOU what I'M supposed to do?
Don't go out at night. Well, it's not unsafe for us to go out at night because of us, but because our beloved 'Pados waali aunties' forget to teach their sons that if you see a woman alone at night, it's not an opportunity, but a responsibility. But they aren't to blame either, are they? Who will 'behave like women' if they teach their sons to behave like men?
Don't wear skimpy halters and short dresses. Because hey, you're a woman and you live in a country where woman = object of gratification.
Don't talk to strangers, specially men. Because a woman who talks to men she's never met before, is a woman of a 'loose character'. As if character is a pair of pants which need to be secured with the belt of reserve.
Don't be strong. Because we are princesses who need the protection of knights in shining armour, and 'strong' is a word for men.
Respect your elders. Most of all, accept immediately any decision about your life that your elders take, because baby you're a liability, not an asset.
Don't talk loudly. Because a woman is not supposed to speak out her mind. Speaking out is a 'man' thing.
And what makes my blood boil is that it's not men who impose these rules on us. It's women. Because heck, we can't decide what to be, we already are women!
Tuesday 30 August 2016
Tuesday 23 August 2016
One Minute of Silence
One minute of silence to pray for my soul, and that's all you can offer me?
What about the dreams I couldn't see coming true? What about the things I still had to tell my loved ones? Oh right, why does it matter to you anyway? By the time I scream out in pain, you have already done your part: Stayed silent for a minute to pray for my soul.
And then, you stirred back into motion, glad that the condolence was over for good. You left the place with your friends, probably expressing a sadness that you didn't really have, because how am I related to you anyway?
Yes, it hurts. It hurts to see so much apathy disguised as sympathy among people who would rather be watching a movie with their friends than stand there, keeping their mouths shut, while a whole host of thoughts whizz past their minds. It hurts to see how my existence fades away like camphor; how I become the toast of the town for a day or two and then disappear from everyone's heart all of a sudden.
Some will say how close they were to me, how hard it is for them to cope with this loss. My family will shed tears and wish I were there with them. And I will desperately want to tell them not to cry, to take care of themselves and live their lives as they normally would. Can your one minute of silence help my desperation?
Alas! All you can do is keep mum for sixty seconds and forget about me. But if you were me, would you not say a word?
What about the dreams I couldn't see coming true? What about the things I still had to tell my loved ones? Oh right, why does it matter to you anyway? By the time I scream out in pain, you have already done your part: Stayed silent for a minute to pray for my soul.
And then, you stirred back into motion, glad that the condolence was over for good. You left the place with your friends, probably expressing a sadness that you didn't really have, because how am I related to you anyway?
Yes, it hurts. It hurts to see so much apathy disguised as sympathy among people who would rather be watching a movie with their friends than stand there, keeping their mouths shut, while a whole host of thoughts whizz past their minds. It hurts to see how my existence fades away like camphor; how I become the toast of the town for a day or two and then disappear from everyone's heart all of a sudden.
Some will say how close they were to me, how hard it is for them to cope with this loss. My family will shed tears and wish I were there with them. And I will desperately want to tell them not to cry, to take care of themselves and live their lives as they normally would. Can your one minute of silence help my desperation?
Alas! All you can do is keep mum for sixty seconds and forget about me. But if you were me, would you not say a word?
Monday 15 August 2016
Independence Day
“Happy Independence Day!” says almost everyone I meet on this day. I wonder what they mean. Is it a mockery of the oh-so-dependent person I am, or is it a reminder of what I should've been?
Independence. What a sophisticated term for something that is inherent in all of us! As the entire nation celebrates 70 years of freedom from colonialism, I fret over the minuscule reasons of my ‘Colonized’ existence.
In the two decades of my life so far, my definition of freedom has always been defined by the society. The society has always shaped me—and billions of girls like me—into conforming, ‘well behaved’ women. And we, like the well bred daughters we are, unquestioningly accepted the ideals laid down by a completely patriarchal society.
Freedom, to be honest, means the freedom to go out and to study and to vote. But when it comes to expression, we'd better keep our mouths shut, right?
True, women like Taslima Nasreen have expressed their views, refusing to compromise with freedom of expression. But has the society spared them?
My point is, we need to wage a freedom struggle against the societal system—to break free of the subtle captivity we all are suffering from time immemorial.
Let's break free of the stereotypical image of the ‘Bhartiya Naari’. When we succeed in breaking free from all these invisible shackles, then will India ever awaken into a heaven of freedom.
Jai Hind.
Independence. What a sophisticated term for something that is inherent in all of us! As the entire nation celebrates 70 years of freedom from colonialism, I fret over the minuscule reasons of my ‘Colonized’ existence.
In the two decades of my life so far, my definition of freedom has always been defined by the society. The society has always shaped me—and billions of girls like me—into conforming, ‘well behaved’ women. And we, like the well bred daughters we are, unquestioningly accepted the ideals laid down by a completely patriarchal society.
Freedom, to be honest, means the freedom to go out and to study and to vote. But when it comes to expression, we'd better keep our mouths shut, right?
True, women like Taslima Nasreen have expressed their views, refusing to compromise with freedom of expression. But has the society spared them?
My point is, we need to wage a freedom struggle against the societal system—to break free of the subtle captivity we all are suffering from time immemorial.
Let's break free of the stereotypical image of the ‘Bhartiya Naari’. When we succeed in breaking free from all these invisible shackles, then will India ever awaken into a heaven of freedom.
Jai Hind.
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